I just took a piece of paper and a pen and began to think. Thinking about what to write. I had so many ideas, but did not know how to structure them.
I fought with myself.
I worked hard on myself. I want to change myself. I changed some things about me, but there is more to change.
I should not despair although I often do that.
What I’m doing? Why?
‘Relax Rossye. Breathe, exhale.’
Ah, I’m feeling better.
What is happening to me?
I want to inspire people, but I can not motivate myself.
‘Look out the window: the sky is blue, the sun is shining, birds are singing, children are playing, life boils. There are so many things to be happy Rossye.’
People are rushing, harvested from work. All are tired. Where are the smiling faces? Where?
I’ll tell you something:
Every weekday I get up early in the morning, I go to the bus stop and wait for the bus. While waiting, I’m listening to music (music fills me full). People who are around me are so tired and desperate. Even after I get on the bus I see sad faces. No, they are not sad. Even I can not explain fully how they are. Everyone is worried, is having problems, or is thinking about all sort of things … Once I finish school at noon, I go back to the bus. Ah, my God, then I can not determine how I see the people are – desperate or mad. Definitely they are crazy. I’ve seen how people passing on the street and talking to themselves. The view is disheartening. I just can not describe it.
Where are we? No longer are confident, neither smiling nor rejoice. We live day to day. As if most of us have given up on life. Speak, breathe, eat, move, they do that but they had turned in spirits.
Furthermore, everyone thinks only of himself. Gone sympathy and shared pain / joy.
People are no longer people.
Life is no longer life.
Everything has changed and it is in bad way.
While I’m trying to find myself, people are destroyed. Why?… I’m trying to find the answer!
Ahh, lovely, I’m sure that you can’t understand me perfectly but that’s me, my thoughts and my view of the world at the moment. Maybe you think I’m crazy, but I’m not, I am only one girl who tried to find herself. Also positively in the world.